it’s been exactly a week since I saw you last. Last night was the first time I’ve dreamt about you since school ended. It’s making it even harder to not think about you today. Yesterday when I got my new job, I just wanted to call you and tell you how excited I am. I know I could have. I know you would answer, that you would be excited and happy for me. You would ask how I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. You’d tell me about your trip and what’s been going on with your change of major and school. You’d talk to me like nothing is wrong and like nothing has changed. I want that so bad. But I know the second I talk to you it will just make everything even harder. It’ll make me miss you even more. It will make me love you even more. I can’t tell you how much I miss you, but just know that I do. A lot.
i feel too much. that’s what it is. some people have the gift of holding back, or forgetting, or moving on. My one gift is to see the good and to let go of the bad someone has done to me. That’s what screws me over every time. It means I give endless second chances to anyone and everyone because I honestly can’t see them trying to hurt me. I do it with family, friends, boys, strangers, anyone. I never learn from the past because I want to see the good in the future. In a way people walk all over me because of this. I’m always available for anyone. I just want to make you happy. I don’t want to let go of this trait. I don’t want to become cynical and disgusted of the world. I just don’t want to keep hurting anymore either.